What Pregnancy Loss Taught Me About Empathy in the Workplace

Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

I’ve lost a lot of babies.

Several miscarriages that led to close to ten years of IVF. Weight gain and health complications. Shots, procedures and transfers that carried so much hope and ended in heartbreak. Losses that changed me in ways I’m still learning to explain.

And then there’s Hope.

Our daughter. Our one girl. The little girl we worked, waited, prayed, and fought so hard for.

But my grief isn’t just about Hope. It’s about every baby we’ve lost along the way. Every time we let ourselves believe this might be it. Every future we imagined, only to have to figure out how to keep going without them.

After years of infertility, IVF, and pregnancy loss, I've learned that workplace empathy isn't about what we say. It's about how we show up when someone is hurting.

I’m sharing this because I think we underestimate how much of people's lives we never “see” at work. I will never stop sharing about this because I’ve personally seen how devastating it is to not feel supported at work when going through a loss.

We talk a lot about empathy in the workplace. We put it in our values, our leadership competencies, and our culture decks. But empathy isn't a value statement, it’s what we ACTUALLY do when someone is hurting.

It's checking in after the difficult news, not just the day it happens. It's giving someone room to be human without making them explain or justify their grief. It's remembering that returning to work doesn't mean someone has returned to normal. And it's understanding that pregnancy loss, infertility, and grief don't fit neatly into a few days of bereavement leave or a conversation with HR.

You don't have to know exactly what to say. You don't have to fix it. You just have to be willing to show up, even when someone's pain makes you uncomfortable and there isn't a neat way to make it better.

As leaders and colleagues, we may never know the full story someone is carrying. That's all the more reason to lead with compassion.

Hope will always be part of our family. So will every baby we've lost. Today, I remember them all. 🧡🦋💔 And I'm reminded that the way we show up for people in their hardest moments tells us far more about our culture than any mission statement ever will.

ABOUT BRITT

Britt Larsen now uses her years of executive management experience and expertise in media training to support those looking to make a change in their career; whether it be starting a business, discovering a new industry, finding a new job, preparing for interviews or getting a promotion. She founded Livlyhood, a community for women who work, in 2017 as a blog featuring women from diverse professional backgrounds, and has since grown the space into a thriving career coaching business for people of all backgrounds. She enjoys helping men and women learn how to work together more effectively in the workplace.

Early in her career, Britt Larsen became the Director of Communications for a prominent Congressman in Washington, DC. On Capitol Hill, she cultivated longstanding relationships with members of the national press, booking daily hits on national television and wrote all press releases and official statements placed in outlets including The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times and Politico. She was also chosen to lead The Heritage Foundation's weekly communications briefing. 

From DC, she was recruited to be the Director of Communications under the Governor of Florida. She served as the Department of State Public Information Officer overseeing state elections and the on-camera official spokeswoman and speechwriter for the Secretary of State and agency of over 600 employees. 

Britt then moved into the private sector and since has directed public affairs strategy and communications for political campaigns, startups and established enterprise companies. Past clients include Microsoft, Pfizer, Children's Miracle Network Hospitals, Merit Medical, Subway, United Airlines, Delta Airlines, Joann Fabrics, Extra Space Storage and several statewide and national political campaigns. As the youngest and only female Vice President at her last firm, she instituted a completely new structure for client strategy and hired more than 50% of employees.